I’ve not written anything on here for a while, these days I find it hard to regularly set aside a slot of time to just sit down and type about my life. There’s usually always something more pressing to be getting on with, and when there isn’t I try and spend that time getting the cogs to stop whirring and just reflect. Time passes me by so quickly these days; I look at Heidi, now 9 months old, standing on her own, mobile, with teeth and hair and a voice and a personality. I’m staggered that it’s been 9 months; staggered that it’s been 9 months already, and also that it has only been 9 months. I feel like we’ve had her forever. I find myself penciling her into my memories, and have to stop and try really hard to remember what it felt like to look at the world before I knew what it was like to truly love something so much that it takes your breath away, and prior to caring about how precious somethings are, and how unimportant and transient are others. I’m a different person now. A better person purely for having been afforded the opportunity to grow as she does. It’s wonderful, and astonishing, and gut-wrenching and heartwarming all at once.
Everyone is someone’s child: really feeling that alone, changes everything about you.
I chose to go back to university in September, I’m working with my hands, pushing my creativity and problem-solving skills harder, learning every day, and most importantly loving every minute of it. Following all of that, after the long practical classes and continuous assessed project work, and squeezing in some domestic drudgery and then some baking for fun, I’m pretty shattered, but I’m doing the two things I love the most every day; being a mum and creating, so I’m very happy with life right now. I’m so lucky to been in a position to be able to essentially ‘have my cake and eat it’; Dave’s keeping me afloat, he’s the best fiance I could ever ask for, and I try and tell him that as much as I can.
Right now I’m listening to In Rainbows (for those of you who don’t know, it’s Radiohead’s new album) and it’s brilliant. If you’re expecting The Bends, then be warned, it’s nothing like that. It’s ehtereal and floaty one minute, piercing and jangling the next, but it all comes together beautifully. They’ve grown-up, branched out, experimented, and it works. They’re a better band for it, if they stay in the same little niche forever (not that you could every really described them as having a niche to begin with) the music would stagnate and would lose it’s resonance. Fans that have grown with the music will love it.
Heidi seems a little less than impressed since In the Night Garden has been temporarily muted.
Tonight we’re off for dinner at the apex and to spend a little time catching up. Looking forward to something tasty!
Track 5. All I Need - that’s lump in your throat synth right there










